You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
