She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
