How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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