somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
