Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
