I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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