Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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