Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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