Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's just like the Real World with babies
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so much tequila, so little girl.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
