mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
