And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize