This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
