she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
