girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
