I hate all girls vehemently.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
