someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
