i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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