you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
bring money and cleavage
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My dick has a subreddit
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
