I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
