dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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