I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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