gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize