Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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