I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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