Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
3 2 1 whiskey
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
