Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
