Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she told me i tasted like america
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
