If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
