Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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