It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
