: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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