i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
