So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
