Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
