do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
