The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
