wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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