the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize