you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
