I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
