I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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