What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
