weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
