I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize