what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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