Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize