and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
