he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize