Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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