i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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