I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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