Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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