will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
