i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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