the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
