Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
