so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
