i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize