...so i touched it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
